The big news of the Brownlow medal night was not so much Gary Ablett jnr putting some of his Father’s ghosts to rest by winning the top playing award but rather Carlton forward and wayward star, Brendan Fevola.

Brendan was four sheets to the wind from early on the first quarter and as the event wore on failed to pace himself. By the time the siren went it was 3:30am

Every time Carlton player received vote the camera cut to the main Carlton table only to find clearly “clench fist” Big Fev play acting and generally coming across as the complete tool he is.

I’m not going to sink the slipper into Fev for a few reasons. Firstly, there are plenty of the usual outraged pundits and commentators who can trot out their standard rhetoric while secretly being booze hounds themselves. Secondly, not so long ago I got so mindlessly drunk that I totally lost it- much worse than Brendan did. Lastly, why kick clown when he falls over? That Brendan is an idiot (on an ongoing basis) is not in dispute. Why have a debate when he does something idiotic?

No, I’m reserving my criticism for others:

Australian Drug Foundation CEO John Rogerson said Fevola’s behaviour did not set a great example, but needed to be kept in perspective. “There was a similar problem with Brendan last year. It sounds like there’s some issues around Brendan and his use of alcohol and he needs some support,” Mr Rogerson said.

..and there it is. When the issue of alcohol sponsorship being banned in sport was recently raised, the AFL sought to ensure this did happen because they maintained that the best way to ensure safe alcohol use in the community is to include the AFL in the education process.

AFL boss Andrew Demetriou said:

“Let’s talk about how we can raise awareness and educate them on what’s right and wrong about responsible drinking. Banning things doesn’t solve these problems.”

This may or may not be truthy. It is true that AFL players have been promoting safe drinking and non drink driving. But press releases, TVCs and radio talkback are not the real world.

The real world was on TV on Monday night with Brendan getting smashed and making very public dick of himself while his mates looked on and did nothing. His captain Chris Judd laughed it up each time the camera was on them. The other players on the table similarly enjoyed the donkey show that was the Fev.

• Real mates would have tried to stop him early on.
• Once he was too far gone, real mates would have called a club official during an ad break and got them to come to Crown Casino ready to collect him.
• Real mates would have surrounded Brendan and spirited him into car/cab, and if he’d resisted pointed out his career depended on leaving. Even in an alcohol haze,words like “career…over” hit home.

But it seems the real mates Brendan needed weren’t there. This inaction lays bare the empty and still damaging nature of football culture. On the one hand they talk up responsible drinking, but when one falls off wagon so publicly they laugh and encourage the sad clown. They participate in overblown bullshit team bonding like Kokoda track walks and Mount Kilimanjaro climbs, but when a mate is really in need- and he’s not on the field- they laugh it off and throw him to the baying dogs of the media and the social commentators.

Suffering badly after a horrible binge on spirits.

Earlier I mentioned how I got completely wrecked about two years ago. My best man and best mate Peter was there and when he first noticed that was in strife (I was drinking, unbeknownst to me, neat 60 proof Cachaça), he did the following:

• Called Rachel to come and get me- it was 3am. He was not worried about waking/angering/informing her, he just knew I needed help.
• Made sure I was safe and with bucket.
• Packed up all my stuff.
• Cleaned up all of my horrendous vomit in the bathroom (this was work function!)with little more than paper towels and sheer will power.
• Locked up the venue I was responsible for.
• Got me down in the lift unconcious, into the car and then home.

Frankly he saved my night, my relationship, my job and just possibly, my life.

If only Brendan had one mate as good as Peter he might not have ended up in the situation he now finds himself in. Brendan Fevola did not fail so much as was failed by his so called “mates”.